I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
