Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
