i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
