I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
