mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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