After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
