You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
