all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
