Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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