Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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