Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
