I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
