I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
