Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
