I will die if light touches me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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