Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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