Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
