Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
