put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
