They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
