Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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