Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
