so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
