I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
