I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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