You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
