i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
