She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
