she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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