My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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