with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
