When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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