Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
