I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My dick has a subreddit
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
