woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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