Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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