Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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