the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
