So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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