Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
