...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
