Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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