Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
