Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
