Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
