Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
