i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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