I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
