Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
