its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's just like the Real World with babies
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
