I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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