google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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