everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
